Fifty Shades of What The Fuck Did I Just Read

A blog that comments on the worst fanfic-turned-novel in existence: Fifty Shades Trilogy.

We know what you're thinking: Why the hell would anyone want to put themselves through that sort of torture?

For the answer to that question, you should totes go to the ask box. Please ask us. Anything for that matter. PLEASE.


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So firstly, Christian is this kinky dominant… and now he has laser eyes. HE CAN BURN PANTIES. SRSLY.
When you’re turned on, your panties don’t burn; they get soaked.

So firstly, Christian is this kinky dominant… and now he has laser eyes. HE CAN BURN PANTIES. SRSLY.

When you’re turned on, your panties don’t burn; they get soaked.

posted on 7/12/2012, with 0 notesreblog
thegaytrifecta:

Great writing right there.

thegaytrifecta:

Great writing right there.

posted on 7/11/2012, with 7 notes (source: crazysciencelesbians) — reblog

Awkward. 

Awkward. 

posted on 7/11/2012, with 1 notereblog
Why is even Kate jumping on that wagon? That’s being stupid, no stop it Kate. They’ve met once and suddenly you think he’d go all the way to Portland to see her? How would he even know that she worked there?
To answer your question, no I don’t think he was there to see her. 

Why is even Kate jumping on that wagon? That’s being stupid, no stop it Kate. They’ve met once and suddenly you think he’d go all the way to Portland to see her? How would he even know that she worked there?

To answer your question, no I don’t think he was there to see her. 

posted on 7/11/2012, with 0 notesreblog
Why should he meet him? Why should Paul, a minor character of no significant use except to get a rise out of Grey, meet him? 

Why should he meet him? Why should Paul, a minor character of no significant use except to get a rise out of Grey, meet him? 

posted on 7/11/2012, with 0 notesreblog

Well. 

posted on 7/11/2012, with 2 notesreblog
Okay Ana, we get it. There is no need to go and say her name all the time. I get that you’re like in love with her and everything but can you please have at least some semblance of control when you’re in public? Okay, thanks. 

Okay Ana, we get it. There is no need to go and say her name all the time. I get that you’re like in love with her and everything but can you please have at least some semblance of control when you’re in public? Okay, thanks. 

posted on 7/11/2012, with 0 notesreblog
How is that an appropriate metaphor? 

How is that an appropriate metaphor? 

posted on 7/11/2012, with 1 notereblog
Hello, that is the understatement of the year. I mean, he fucked you hard, spanked you until you were sore, touched you everywhere and he just can’t hold his urges when you’re around and you call him “PERVERT”? 

Hello, that is the understatement of the year. I mean, he fucked you hard, spanked you until you were sore, touched you everywhere and he just can’t hold his urges when you’re around and you call him “PERVERT”? 

posted on 7/10/2012, with 2 notesreblog
Oh my god, Ana. That is too stupid. 
We forget 90% of our dreams and the mere fact that all you can remember is that you dreamed of him is pretty telling.
When you dream about someone, it’s your subconscious (the one with the glasses you’re so fond of) makes you dream of the things you’re missing. Being concerned about someone can have the same effect. 

Oh my god, Ana. That is too stupid. 

We forget 90% of our dreams and the mere fact that all you can remember is that you dreamed of him is pretty telling.

When you dream about someone, it’s your subconscious (the one with the glasses you’re so fond of) makes you dream of the things you’re missing. Being concerned about someone can have the same effect. 

posted on 7/9/2012, with 0 notesreblog