Fifty Shades of What The Fuck Did I Just Read

A blog that comments on the worst fanfic-turned-novel in existence: Fifty Shades Trilogy.

We know what you're thinking: Why the hell would anyone want to put themselves through that sort of torture?

For the answer to that question, you should totes go to the ask box. Please ask us. Anything for that matter. PLEASE.


Fifty Shades Of Grey Chapter Two

Number of references to subconscious (and I’m counting some of the italics for this): TWENTY FREAKING TIMES. 

Overall rating: Not as bad as Chapter One but still unbearable. 

posted on 7/11/2012, with 0 notesreblog
Why should he meet him? Why should Paul, a minor character of no significant use except to get a rise out of Grey, meet him? 

Why should he meet him? Why should Paul, a minor character of no significant use except to get a rise out of Grey, meet him? 

posted on 7/11/2012, with 0 notesreblog

Well. 

posted on 7/11/2012, with 2 notesreblog
Okay Ana, we get it. There is no need to go and say her name all the time. I get that you’re like in love with her and everything but can you please have at least some semblance of control when you’re in public? Okay, thanks. 

Okay Ana, we get it. There is no need to go and say her name all the time. I get that you’re like in love with her and everything but can you please have at least some semblance of control when you’re in public? Okay, thanks. 

posted on 7/11/2012, with 0 notesreblog
How is that an appropriate metaphor? 

How is that an appropriate metaphor? 

posted on 7/11/2012, with 1 notereblog

His voice is warm and husky like dark melted chocolate fudge caramel… or something

Fifty Shades of Grey

… or something

(via thegaytrifecta)

posted on 7/10/2012, with 9 notes (source: crazysciencelesbians) — reblog

I’m going to go ahead and assume that all of the italics are your subconscious’ thoughts. Bc that’s the only thing that explains the blatant disregard for proper continuity. 

Just to be clear, though, I am not, in any way, trying to defend the book. I am just trying to find a proper explanation so I don’t try to gauge my eyes out everytime the continuity fluctuates.

I’ve already had enough of that with glee.

posted on 7/10/2012, with 1 notereblog
Oh my god, Ana. That is too stupid. 
We forget 90% of our dreams and the mere fact that all you can remember is that you dreamed of him is pretty telling.
When you dream about someone, it’s your subconscious (the one with the glasses you’re so fond of) makes you dream of the things you’re missing. Being concerned about someone can have the same effect. 

Oh my god, Ana. That is too stupid. 

We forget 90% of our dreams and the mere fact that all you can remember is that you dreamed of him is pretty telling.

When you dream about someone, it’s your subconscious (the one with the glasses you’re so fond of) makes you dream of the things you’re missing. Being concerned about someone can have the same effect. 

posted on 7/9/2012, with 0 notesreblog
You should enjoy this while it lasts because pretty soon, your subconscious is going to take up a body of its own. It lives in your head and wears glasses. This will mark how obviously crazy you are.

You should enjoy this while it lasts because pretty soon, your subconscious is going to take up a body of its own. It lives in your head and wears glasses. This will mark how obviously crazy you are.

posted on 7/9/2012, with 0 notesreblog
Imma say this again. YOU COULD HAVE ASKED HER.

Imma say this again. YOU COULD HAVE ASKED HER.

posted on 7/8/2012, with 1 notereblog